Dating after Divorce... 7 Signs you Might be Ready
Did you recently go through a divorce? If so, the question on your mind might be when you'll be ready to start dating again. Whether it's been six months or six years since your divorce, only you know when you are ready to jump back into dating.
It's been about a year since my ex and I split. Talk about a long year. Between a custody battle, moving back home, and just adjusting to parenting on my own - I really didn't have much time to give another relationship. I didn't have much time for myself, let alone someone else! But now that I've had a year to settle and get into a new routine, I feel like I'm ready to give (a little) of my time to someone else. Because we all know Aimery takes up almost all of my attention 😉.
So, when do you know that you are ready for another relationship after a divorce, or a long-term relationship? Sometimes it may be clear, and sometimes there won't really be an "I'm ready" moment. Keep reading 7 signs you might be ready to start dating again.
FIRST, YOU ARE actually OVER your ex. for real this time.
You aren't just over him. You're REALLY over him. You've been through all the stages of grief. You know that for one reason or another, it is really over this time. Don't get me wrong, it's completely normal AND healthy to feel sad about a long-term relationship ending, but make sure you are completely over him before moving forward. For me, I never had the desire to go back to my ex after we were seperated. Maybe it was because I knew our relationship was over waaay before it actually ended. Or, maybe it was because I never had an actual reason to go back to him. Whatever the reason might be, just give yourself enough time to get over your ex before jumping into something new!
YOU HAD THE "MEETING THE KIDS" CONVO
If you have kids, then it's important to talk to your ex about when you both feel comfortable with people meeting your children. If you both agree to not allow the kids to meet the person you're dating until it's serious, then great! But if you don't agree, also great! Personally, I have decided that I only want serious people actively in Aimery's life. On the other hand, my ex introduced Aimery to a girl he was dating after knowing her for a few weeks. In a perfect world, it would be great if you and your ex could agree on everything, but that's not going to happen! You just have to accept it and move on. And although it might be hard or awkward to talk about, always keep communication open about dating so both sides know what's going on.
YOUR PAST IS IN THE PAST
You are no longer bitter at your ex. If you talk to your ex without getting angry about things that happened in the past, then you are ready to move forward. No one wants to start another relationship with bitterness towards someone else. Need help moving forward? I love meditating and working out to put my mind in a healthier place!
YOU DON'T HATE YOUR EX
Having peace with your circumstances is an important part of moving forward. If you still hate your ex, you can't truly be happy with a new partner because you are still angry at your last one. You know you'll be ready when you are over hating your ex and can genuinely be happy for them when you see their life moving forward. I feel like I am finally in this place, and I'm so much happier.
YOU DON'T NEED A RELATIONSHIP
Have you figured out how to be independent? Do you know how to make yourself happy? Learn to do invest time into yourself and making yourself happy. Girl, this is 2018. Take yourself on a date. And make sure you have enough time to find yourself after your marriage ends before jumping into another relationship.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
Take time to reallyyyy know what you want out of your next relationship. A partner for you? A father figure for your kids? A casual hook-up? No judgement here. Just know what you are looking for before taking the next step!
AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT
If you are recently divorced, I bet you already know what you don't want in another partner based on your last relationship. You might even have long list! Be sure to really know what you do not want in a partner before you accidentally fall in love with someone just like your ex again. We can't have that.
Get it, girl! ❤️